Category Archives: Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies: Meetings

I heard this quote second hand from a Tim Ferriss audio book, The Four Hour Work Week. For those that work with me on projects, you’ll know I go to great measures to avoid meetings. I have found theoretically, and experimentally that the work with respect to man-hours is much greater by optimizing desk sides and small group think. The routine meeting drives me nuts. Yes, there are times when big groups need to meet, but when they do, call a meeting. Can we all please stop meeting for the sake of meeting? One last thing, if we absolutely have to meet the host needs to bring an agenda. Too easy.

Here’s how Dave Barry sees it:

“Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.”

PS. The Joint Staff absolutely qualifies as a “large organization” and we are guilty as charged. Apparently Dilbert thought of this too….

Meetings

Friday Funnies: The Arrogance of Authority

I’m a big fan of Jack Spirko and the Survival Podcast. He started his teachings as a prepper and has made a big impact on changing that label to reflect people who prepare for life rather than the apocalypse. If you have an emergency fund and backup electrical power at your home, you’re a prepper. Jack gets fired up over abuses of state sanctioned authority so when I read this it made me chuckle, and think of Jack (who ‘casts from Texas btw).

The Arrogance of Authoritybull
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.  He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”

The rancher said, “Okay , but don’t go in that field over there…..”,as he pointed out the location. The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!”

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

“See this badge?!  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish….On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!!  Have I made myself clear……do you understand ?!!”

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull……

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety.  The officer was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs…..

“Your badge, show him your BADGE…….. ! !”

Friday Funnies – Investing

Fellas, let me know if you’ve ever had this conversation:

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes

Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Oh, about 3.

Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: Well, $5 I ‘spose, with tip.

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: Geez, 20 years maybe.

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct?
Man: Sounds about right.

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct.

Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compounding interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?

Woman: No.
Man: Where’s your Ferrari?